| Pages in topic: [1 2] > | Translating Julio Cortázar Thread poster: Cristina Pulido-Vielma
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To those who do this professionaly (I am only a beginner) Would this be a proper translation of the poem Amor77?
Y después de hacer todo lo que hacen se levantan, se bañan, se entalcan, se perfuman, se visten, y así progresivamente van volviendo a ser lo que no son.
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And after doing everything they do they raise, they bathe, they put powder and perfume on, they get dressed, and progressively they return to being what they are not.
... See more To those who do this professionaly (I am only a beginner) Would this be a proper translation of the poem Amor77?
Y después de hacer todo lo que hacen se levantan, se bañan, se entalcan, se perfuman, se visten, y así progresivamente van volviendo a ser lo que no son.
_________________________
And after doing everything they do they raise, they bathe, they put powder and perfume on, they get dressed, and progressively they return to being what they are not.
Feel free to reply to me if it's considered "off-topic".
Chuss ▲ Collapse
| | | | Roomy Naqvy 
India
Local time: 21:51
English to Hindi
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| Translating Cortazar | Dec 14, 2006 |
I'm not a Cortazar expert...though I have read him and he's a great writer. I am sure our colleagues would tell you what they think but I would like to state here, that unless, you make a patently wrong translation, there isn't much that could be wrong.
Roomy
| | | | Wenjer Leuschel (X)
Taiwan
Local time: 00:21
English to Chinese
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| Not too bad at all | Dec 14, 2006 |
chuss wrote:
Y después de hacer todo lo que hacen se levantan, se bañan, se entalcan, se perfuman, se visten, y así progresivamente van volviendo a ser lo que no son.
_________________________
And after doing everything they do they raise, they bathe, they put powder and perfume on, they get dressed, and progressively they return to being what they are not.
¡Hóla, chuss!
1. "después de hacer todo lo que hacen " could be "after doing all what they do."
2. "así progresivamente van volviendo a ser lo que no son" could be "thus they gradually return to becoming what they are not."
Welcome and do stay. You'll find some more of those guys who are already what they aren't round here, at times.
Saludos,
Wenjer
[Edited at 2006-12-14 01:45]
| | | | | Just a change or two | Dec 14, 2006 |
"Se levantan" means "they get out of bed". The rest is fine.
Suerte
Helen
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| Thanks Helen, Wenjer | Dec 14, 2006 |
for your contributions to my post.
Is there any other way of saying "they get out of bed"? It sounds different in Spanish. "Levantarse de la cama" as opposed to just "levantarse"...
Chuss
| | | | Wenjer Leuschel (X)
Taiwan
Local time: 00:21
English to Chinese
+ ...
| A matter of "gusto" | Dec 14, 2006 |
Helen Filippou wrote:
"Se levantan" means "they get out of bed". The rest is fine.
Suerte
Helen
Hi Helen,
Yes, the translation is all right.
However, I wouldn't translate "se levantan" so blatantly into "they get out of bed." Levantarse isn't necessarily out of bed. It could be anything else and that's one of the tricks of literature and translation.
Anyway, I like this Amor77 and the translation of chuss does help understand its import.
- Wenjer
[Edited at 2006-12-14 03:11]
| | | | Maria Karra
United States
Local time: 12:21
Member (2000)
Greek to English
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chuss wrote:
Is there any other way of saying "they get out of bed"? It sounds different in Spanish. "Levantarse de la cama" as opposed to just "levantarse"...
They get up.
Maria
| | | | Patricia Rosas
United States
Local time: 09:21
Spanish to English
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In memoriam | they rise ... | Dec 14, 2006 |
Helen Filippou wrote:
"Se levantan" means "they get out of bed". The rest is fine.
Suerte
Helen
There was a tiny error (typo?) raise should "rise" --and after doing everything they do, they rise ...
I would prefer that to "get out of bed" because "they rise" poetically implies that they are getting up ...
Welcome to ProZ!
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Wenjer Leuschel (X)
Taiwan
Local time: 00:21
English to Chinese
+ ...
Patricia Rosas wrote:
There was a tiny error (typo?) raise should "rise" --and after doing everything they do, they rise ...
I would prefer that to "get out of bed" because "they rise" poetically implies that they are getting up ...
Welcome to ProZ!
Right, to get up or to rise would be a proper translation.
| | | | | You could try this solution... | Dec 14, 2006 |
chuss wrote:
for your contributions to my post.
Is there any other way of saying "they get out of bed"? It sounds different in Spanish. "Levantarse de la cama" as opposed to just "levantarse"...
Chuss
AND
Patricia Rosas wrote:
There was a tiny error (typo?) raise should "rise" --and after doing everything they do, they rise ...
I would prefer that to "get out of bed" because "they rise" poetically implies that they are getting up ...
You could try
"they rise from their beds/sleep/rest"
to try and incorporate both ideas.
And I echo, welcome to ProZ, the friendliest, most useful and fun place for translators!!
Bill
PS. An afterthought: a few less pronouns, and a little more alliteration!
"And after doing all they do they rise from their beds, they bathe, powder and perfume their persons, they dress, and progressively return to being what they are not."
[Edited at 2006-12-14 10:34]
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They rise, sounds a little awkward to me in English. It seems to me, that the list suggests the daily activities one goes through after awakening. Maybe, "they get up" to suggest that they get up after a night of sleep.
Literary translations open up a whole world of nuances, don't they?
Suerte
Helen
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William [Bill] Gray wrote:
And I echo, welcome to ProZ, the friendliest, most useful and fun place for translators!!
Bill
Thank you, Bill
PS. An afterthought: a few less pronouns, and a little more alliteration!
"And after doing all they do they rise from their beds, they bathe, powder and perfume their persons, they dress, and progressively return to being what they are not."
[Edited at 2006-12-14 10:34]
I am getting closer to my final version.
And I agree Helen, literature is about sharing a universe of perceptions.
The most interesting part of this interpretation of the poem is most of you think there is more than one bed.
Since Amor77 is a love poem my conclusion was always there was only one bed, "they" get up (from). "They" are lovers to me. Cortazar's is saying they are lying/living a lie.
Any ideas about that?
Chuss
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Refugio
Local time: 09:21
Spanish to English
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Y después de hacer todo lo que hacen se levantan, se bañan, se entalcan, se perfuman, se visten, y así progresivamente van volviendo a ser lo que no son.
And after doing whatever they do, they get up, bathe, powder and perfume themselves, get dressed, and thus gradually go back to being what they are not.
| | | | | Another suggestion... | Dec 18, 2006 |
chuss wrote: William [Bill] Gray wrote:
"And after doing all they do they rise from their beds, they bathe, powder and perfume their persons, they dress, and progressively return to being what they are not."
The most interesting part of this interpretation of the poem is most of you think there is more than one bed. Since Amor77 is a love poem my conclusion was always there was only one bed, "they" get up (from). "They" are lovers to me. Cortazar's is saying they are lying/living a lie. Any ideas about that? Chuss
What about singular "they rise from their bed" instead of "beds"? Or even, "they leave their bed"?
Bill
| | | | Wenjer Leuschel (X)
Taiwan
Local time: 00:21
English to Chinese
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Ruth Henderson wrote:
Y después de hacer todo lo que hacen se levantan, se bañan, se entalcan, se perfuman, se visten, y así progresivamente van volviendo a ser lo que no son.
And after doing whatever they do, they get up, bathe, powder and perfume themselves, get dressed, and thus gradually go back to being what they are not.
I like this one. Not so much word by word, but keeps the essence in the whole.
My only doubt would be about the word "ser." Sometimes, it could be "become," instead of being. I guess, most people would take "be" for "ser," but would it make sense when we interpret it as "become" in this case?
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