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A word for a very specific--and complex--human relationship
Thread poster: alohajerseyg (X)
Wenjer Leuschel (X)
Wenjer Leuschel (X)  Identity Verified
Taiwan
Local time: 19:49
English to Chinese
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Amour-là, no amor-la! Dec 17, 2007

alohajerseygirl wrote:

That's interesting. I don't know anything about Duras' life, so this relationship is unfamiliar to me. What's the literal translation of "Amor-la"? Can you tell me any more about their relationship?
Thanks!


Firstly, here is something from Wikipedia about Duras.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marguerite_Duras

Secondly, there is a book written by M. Duras about Yann Andréa Steiner with his name as the book title.

Thirdly, the following link is a review of the film shot according to Yann Andréa Steiner's book "Cet amour-là." In which you can read about the relationship between Duras and Steiner in her last 16 years of life.

http://www.metrotimes.com/editorial/review.asp?id=81343

"Cet amour-là" can be translated into English as "This Love." However, the "là" in French conveys, like the "ça," some sense or a tone which is not simply to be translated.

Anyway, I have never heard any single word for such kind of relationship. In Chinese, we use three words/symbols for it: We call it an "elder-younger-crush/love/match." A crush or a love? Well, it depends on how long it lasts. And as to match, when they get married and the marriage lasts a life long.


[Edited at 2007-12-18 01:37]


 
JPW (X)
JPW (X)  Identity Verified
Local time: 11:49
Spanish to English
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affaire de coeur/roman spring Dec 17, 2007

I think you should perhaps get in touch with a psychologist or a psychiatrist to see if he/she knows anything about this...perhaps they could suggest a term for it, I'd be surprised if there wasn't a term for it, as there's a term for everything these days; but it clearly isn't in common usage. Good luck with your search, though...

 
Abdellatif Bouhid
Abdellatif Bouhid  Identity Verified
Local time: 07:49
English to French
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Your chance to create a word Dec 17, 2007

You may become famous for it.


Cet amour-là can be translated by 'oh! that love'


My flash brainstroming produced ce mot-là : yold (young old love).

Cheers!


abdellatif


 
alohajerseyg (X)
alohajerseyg (X)
English
TOPIC STARTER
Crush, not crash! ;-) Dec 17, 2007

Thanks for all of these great posts! Lots of interesting and helpful information here. This gets more and more interesting by the minute. I will definitely check the links on Duras and Steiner and do a search on "mentor-love," which was an expression that never actually occurred to me.

John Paul, what is the meanding of "affaire de coeur"?

Thanks to all who have responded. I really appreciate it!
Gillian


 
Wenjer Leuschel (X)
Wenjer Leuschel (X)  Identity Verified
Taiwan
Local time: 19:49
English to Chinese
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Not bad at all Dec 17, 2007

Abdellatif Bouhid wrote:

My flash brainstroming produced ce mot-là : yold (young old love).


"Yold" is not bad at all.

How about "Yoldove" or "Oldyove" or "Oyoung"?


 
suliko (X)
suliko (X)
Local time: 07:49
English to Russian
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guru lust? Dec 17, 2007

perhaps yoga philosophy in sanskrit could offer some ideas: for example, guru means a teacher, a position that implies a high level of authority (and usually an age difference), commands enormous respect and trust. using the word 'guru' coupled with love/desire/etc might result in the connotation you seek. also, 'kama' is lust, desire.

good luck


 
Juliana Brown
Juliana Brown  Identity Verified
Israel
Local time: 07:49
Member (2007)
Spanish to English
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Cynically speaking, Dec 17, 2007

academic "office hours" could be applied quite broadly to that type of relationship, as I can remember those types of relationships running rampant in the halls of conference hotels when I taught...i.e "have you noticed Prof. X is holding an awful lot of "office hours" for female grad students in his room?

 
Gennady Lapardin
Gennady Lapardin  Identity Verified
Russian Federation
Local time: 14:49
Italian to Russian
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May be Lolita by Nabokov gives you any idea ? Dec 17, 2007

...or what has been written about Lolita

Hi

[Edited at 2007-12-17 23:40]


 
alohajerseyg (X)
alohajerseyg (X)
English
TOPIC STARTER
Not a humorous expression Dec 18, 2007

Wenjer Leuschel wrote:

Abdellatif Bouhid wrote:

My flash brainstroming produced ce mot-là : yold (young old love).


"Yold" is not bad at all.

How about "Yoldove" or "Oldyove" or "Oyoung"?


For my purposes, I'm not looking for humor, and that's undoubtedly how such an expression would come off, in this context. The character, in a moment of sadness over losing the relationship, takes a moment to try to figure out what this relationship actually was. It's a very poignant moment, so I'm looking for a word that captures the fullness of feeling in it, this feeling that all at once she is losing a friend, a student, a son-figure, and a lover. I'm not even sure how I'd work in a foreign word, but it would probably be something she had read in a book.

Someone suggested Lolita. I've read it, and, ironically, there is a moment in the story where the main character is sitting on the beach reading Lolita. I hadn't thought about looking up reviews or criticism to find something, but that's an idea. The only thing is, the relationship in Lolita is abusive and pedophilic, while the one in the story is not.

Regarding "office hours": it doesn't really fit. But thanks for offering it.

Thanks for all these ideas and suggestions. They have got me thinking.
GC


 
Giles Watson
Giles Watson  Identity Verified
Italy
Local time: 12:49
Italian to English
In memoriam
Or... Dec 18, 2007

...Plato's Symposium
in which the alcohol-enhanced Alcibiades tells an entertaining story about trying to get his reluctant philosophy teacher Socrates into bed (or do anything when he had him there).

Giles


 
juvera
juvera  Identity Verified
Local time: 11:49
English to Hungarian
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And... Dec 21, 2007

I like "mentor-love", that's what I was also thinking about when I read your first post, and Robert came up with it.

You could also talk about "protective love", because this element is stronger in this relationship than usual on the part of the older person.


 
lundy
lundy
France
Local time: 12:49
French to English
Cross-generational love? Dec 22, 2007

but no doubt too long!
Good luck!


 
Vito Smolej
Vito Smolej
Germany
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Member (2004)
English to Slovenian
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SITE LOCALIZER
Student-teacher relationship in which the teacher is much older Dec 27, 2007

Harold & Maud?

PS: Socrates and his gang crossed my mind too...

[Urejeno ob 2007-12-27 18:07]


 
Mat Hill
Mat Hill
Local time: 20:49
Japanese to English
I suspect there isn't one in any language! Dec 29, 2007

What you're looking for seems far too specific. Especially with regards to slightly more taboo kinds of romance I suspect that expressions tend to me more vague and euphemistic than as specific as you're looking for.

Mentor-love seems appropriate to me, but I don't know if it's just my feeling that that would involve an older man. In Japanese 'mentouru' (borrowed from English) often means just that kind of relationship but as far as I'm aware it's always an older man.

O
... See more
What you're looking for seems far too specific. Especially with regards to slightly more taboo kinds of romance I suspect that expressions tend to me more vague and euphemistic than as specific as you're looking for.

Mentor-love seems appropriate to me, but I don't know if it's just my feeling that that would involve an older man. In Japanese 'mentouru' (borrowed from English) often means just that kind of relationship but as far as I'm aware it's always an older man.

Otherwise there is of course May-December (and I've also heard May-September but that may have been a mistake!) as was said, but it seems a little twee and devoid of passion to me.

Otherwise of course there are the rather classless (!) 'sugar daddy', 'toyboy' and 'cradle-snatcher'...
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alohajerseyg (X)
alohajerseyg (X)
English
TOPIC STARTER
Throwing in the towel Dec 30, 2007

At this point, I think I give up. Thanks, everyone, for your ideas and input. It's certainly been interesting. What's funny is, I had never heard of May-December--or if I had, I didn't remember it-- and then not only did it appear here twice, but I heard it mentioned at some other point recently.

I just decided to leave it undefined. I wasn't really looking for an English phrase to describe it. I just thought if there were a word in another language--even better if it were French, t
... See more
At this point, I think I give up. Thanks, everyone, for your ideas and input. It's certainly been interesting. What's funny is, I had never heard of May-December--or if I had, I didn't remember it-- and then not only did it appear here twice, but I heard it mentioned at some other point recently.

I just decided to leave it undefined. I wasn't really looking for an English phrase to describe it. I just thought if there were a word in another language--even better if it were French, the language of romance!--then maybe I could work that in.

Oh, well.

Thanks again. This is an interesting community here.

Aloha,
Gillian
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