This Rooster Crow Poem Draft Is Good enough? Thread poster: ivo abdman
| ivo abdman Indonesia Local time: 01:25 English to Indonesian + ...
Hi all Continuing my post http://www.proz.com/topic/94817, herewith I enclosed my poem. Would you like to give me any suggestions, critics, comments, and etc regarding the terms I have choosed especially so that the poem could be more life and nice sound in English. Many thanks in advance Ceker Ayam Nun jauh di sana ... Mengawali pagi yang sibuk ... ... See more Hi all Continuing my post http://www.proz.com/topic/94817, herewith I enclosed my poem. Would you like to give me any suggestions, critics, comments, and etc regarding the terms I have choosed especially so that the poem could be more life and nice sound in English. Many thanks in advance Ceker Ayam Nun jauh di sana ... Mengawali pagi yang sibuk ... iN RUSSIA ROOSTER SCREAMS "KU-KA-RRE-KU`"!!!!! In Spanish they scream "QUIQUIRIQUÍ" english roosters say Cockle-doodle-dooo! and the Francophone roosters say Co-co-ree-co! In Germany they say Kikerikie! and in Finnish kukkokiekuu! In Dutch:Kukeleku In Taiwan they crow in the North "Wowowo!" and in the South "Gugugu!" In Turkish ü-ürü-üüüü sementara di sini mereka berkokok "ku ku ru yuuuk" demi menyemangati bokin mereka tercinta dalam memendeli cacing-cacing yang sedang asyik ngulet dengan modal sepasang ceker jeleknya demi dua buah hatinya yang masih pitik yang menciap-ciap meneriakkan amanat perut mereka Tranlation draft Chicken Claws Far away over there ... Starting the busy morning ... iN RUSSIA, ROOSTER SCREAMS "KU-KA-RRE-KU`"!!!!! In Spanish they scream "QUIQUIRIQUÍ" English roosters say Cockle-doodle-dooo! and the Francophone roosters say Co-co-ree-co! In Germany they say Kikerikie! and in Finnish kukkokiekuu! In Dutch:Kukeleku In Taiwan they crow in the North "Wowowo!" and in the South "Gugugu!" In Turkish ü-ürü-üüüü While here they crow "Ku ku ru yuuuk" To encourage their beloved mistresses to peck worms enjoying their wake up wiggle Provided with a pair of her ugly claws For the sake of the two of her darling baby chicks tweeting to utter the messages of their tummies Reff: 1. http://www.proz.com/topic/94817 The terms of interest: 2. bokin (misstress) http://www.proz.com/kudoz/2441719 3. demi buah hatinya --> for the sake of the two of darling baby chicks http://www.proz.com/kudoz/2433956 4. menciap-ciap --> tweeting http://www.proz.com/kudoz/2414290 5. ngulet --> wake up wiggle http://www.proz.com/kudoz/2412187 6. meneriakkan amanat --> utter the messages of http://www.proz.com/kudoz/2418437 7. ceker jeleknya --> her ugly claws http://www.proz.com/kudoz/2416967 8. masih pitik --> baby chicks http://www.proz.com/kudoz/2419760
[Edited at 2008-02-28 15:32] ▲ Collapse | | | What do you need it for? | Feb 28, 2008 |
ivo abdman said: To encourage their beloved mistresses to peck worms enjoying their wake up wiggle ... For the sake of the two of her darling baby chicks Ivo, it's absolutely charming - I'd change it as little as possible, unless you really need to have it completely grammatically correct. There are a few constructions which aren't native, it's true, but they just add to its charm IMO. The only things I think you do need to change are: 1) use of the word "mistresses", which has a rather unfortunate implication in English. Fortunately you can just say to encourage their beloved to peck worms enjoying their wake-up wiggle. Love "wake-up wiggle", by the way! (I'd stick a hyphen in, to make its meaning clearer). 2) it should be For the sake of two of her darling baby chicks
[Edited at 2008-02-28 16:02] | | | ivo abdman Indonesia Local time: 01:25 English to Indonesian + ... TOPIC STARTER Thanks, I have new clearer image now about the poem | Feb 28, 2008 |
Marie-Hélène Hayles wrote: 1) use of the word "mistresses", which has a rather unfortunate implication in English. Fortunately you can just say to encourage their beloved to peck worms enjoying their wake-up wiggle. Thanks, I have new clearer image now about the poem I agree with the others, but regarding no. 1, would you like to explain me what the unfortunate implication ? I am very need the term of "his illegal wife/lady" there, is your suggestion already address my needs ? | | | Oh, in that case... | Feb 28, 2008 |
ivo abdman wrote: Marie-Hélène Hayles wrote: 1) use of the word "mistresses", which has a rather unfortunate implication in English. Fortunately you can just say to encourage their beloved to peck worms enjoying their wake-up wiggle. Thanks, I have new clearer image now about the poem I agree with the others, but regarding no. 1, would you like to explain me what the unfortunate implication ? I am very need the term of "his illegal wife/lady" there, is your suggestion already address my needs ? "mistress" is exactly the term you need! Sorry, I assumed you were misusing it, but clearly I was wrong (I hadn't checked out the Kudoz question links). Illegal (or perhaps just illicit) lady is the unfortunate implication I was referring to.
[Edited at 2008-02-28 17:15] | |
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Russell Jones United Kingdom Local time: 19:25 Italian to English A british cockerel says: | Feb 28, 2008 |
Cock-a-doodle-doo | | | In the USA too. | Feb 29, 2008 |
Russell Jones wrote: Cock-a-doodle-doo U.S. roosters, noted for their excellent spelling skills, also say "cock-a-doodle-doo," not "cockle-doodle-doo." | | | ivo abdman Indonesia Local time: 01:25 English to Indonesian + ... TOPIC STARTER Is there any ref. or anything backing your both corrections | Feb 29, 2008 |
JaneTranslates wrote: Russell Jones wrote: Cock-a-doodle-doo U.S. roosters, noted for their excellent spelling skills, also say "cock-a-doodle-doo," not "cockle-doodle-doo." Thanks, for your both accurate aware. Would you like to provide me with ref. or link like wikipedia or anything such that I could change its spell I always to be opened for additional cockerel or roosters crows from another country like japan or others. Or you could add any suggestions to my kudoz questions (three questions are still opened)
[Edited at 2008-02-29 04:21] | | | Pernille Chapman United Kingdom Local time: 19:25 Member (2004) English to Danish + ... If you want to include a Danish one... | Feb 29, 2008 |
...it would probably thank you by saying "kykeliky"! Good luck with your poem - it's a lovely idea. | |
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| Jack Doughty United Kingdom Local time: 19:25 Russian to English + ... In memoriam | ivo abdman Indonesia Local time: 01:25 English to Indonesian + ... TOPIC STARTER Kraii - Afrikaan (has been killed while crowing ? :-)) | Feb 29, 2008 |
Thanks I found in the site Kukulushu - Oshindonga Cock-a-doodle-do - English Kokora - Heraro Kikeriki - German Umsindo - Zulu Kukurukuu - Damara Kokokoo - Tswana Cocorico - French Cocoricoo - Portugese Kraii - Afrikaan Cocorigoo - Changama Kraii - Afrikaan (has been killed while crowing ?) and thanks for Marie-Hélène Hayles for refference
[Edited at 2008-02-29 14:42] | | |
ivo abdman wrote: Thanks I found in the site Kukulushu - Oshindonga Cock-a-doodle-do - English Kokora - Heraro Kikeriki - German Umsindo - Zulu Kukurukuu - Damara Kokokoo - Tswana Cocorico - French Cocoricoo - Portugese Kraii - Afrikaan Cocorigoo - Changama In portuguese is more "Cocoricó" that is also a tv show. http://www.tvcultura.com.br/cocorico/index.htm
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