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May 12, 2006 05:09
18 yrs ago
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English term

As trading interests expanded, so too didthe tendency for the expansive tendency

Non-PRO English Art/Literary Poetry & Literature Grecia antica
"As Athenian ***trading interests expanded, so too did the ten---dency for the expansive tendency*** of Athenian democracy to include non-natives and it became increasingly common for successful resident foreigners in Athens to be granted citizenship."

In the book I'm translating, the bottom of the page ends in "so too did the ten-" and than, the next page starts with "dency for the expansive tendency...". Does it have a sense, is it logical or has there been made a confusion and some part of the sentence is redundant and should be eliminated??

Many thanks
Responses
4 +2 It makes perfect sense, but....
4 -1 tendency for expansion (I assume this is the meaning)

Discussion

Ken Cox May 12, 2006:
IMO, someone should explain to the author the difference between writing to show off your skills and writing to convey information.
Bianca Fogarasi (asker) May 12, 2006:
ok, thank you, Richard. I will pay great attention to all exlanations and peer comments.
Richard Benham May 12, 2006:
There's no error. The repeated use of the word "tendency" is deliberate, and makes sense, but is stylistically bad. I have attempted to provide an explanation below.
Bianca Fogarasi (asker) May 12, 2006:
I started from the idea that there might have slipped an error, like writing twice tendency and/or expansive or the idea of expansive tendency, but if native English speakers all tell me it's OK and perfectly logical, than a simple enlightening explanation/reformulation (so that I understand better) will very much do. :)
Richard Benham May 12, 2006:
What is the point of your question? Do you want an explanation, a reformulation, or what?
Bianca Fogarasi (asker) May 12, 2006:
:D God forbid...
flipendo May 12, 2006:
Thanks, Bianca. I thought it was an ancient text you were asking about.
Bianca Fogarasi (asker) May 12, 2006:
"What if? The world's foremost military historians imagine what might have been" edited by Robert Cowley, Berkley Books, 2000
flipendo May 12, 2006:
Hallo! Can you tell us where this extract comes from? It would help greatly.

Responses

+2
2 mins
Selected

It makes perfect sense, but....

It's stylistically not very good. The first "tendency" means a trend, the second an inclination, if that helps!

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Note added at 14 mins (2006-05-12 05:24:49 GMT)
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I think it's a deliberate effect: note too "expanded...expansive".

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Note added at 48 mins (2006-05-12 05:58:18 GMT)
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Here is an attempt at an explanation.

Athenian democracy had a tendency (i.e. was inclined) to be expansive, in the sense of granting citizenship to foreigners.

There was a tendency (trend) for this inclination to become greater with the increasing reliance on trade.

That's what it means. The author was trying to be cute with the repeated use of the concepts "expand" and "tendency". It didn't work.
Note from asker:
To answer to your question to Rita, if in English is stylistically not very good, I'll try to keep it simple, clear and not misleading in the target language, that's all.
Peer comment(s):
agree flipendo : Indeed, stylistically speaking not pretty good.
13 mins
Thanks.
neutral RHELLER : sounds awful ; not very good sounds like she can use it "as is" - would you prefer that I disagree?
33 mins
Yes, that's why I said it's stylistically not very good. Your point being?//That's up to you. What's she going to "use" it for, anyway? It's from a published book, which she is presumably translating.
agree Ken Cox : A plausible explanation, and (who knows) maybe a deliberate choice (I'm not famliar with the book, but some writers consider it clever to juxtapose the same word with two different meanings).//, Sorry, I hadn't read all your answer. Great minds etc.
6 hrs
;-) Yes, I think he's trying to be clever and not quite succeeding. Sometimes it can be effective; in this case it's just confusing, at least for non-natives.
Something went wrong...
4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer. Comment: "thank you, Richard. Now it's perfectly clear ;-)"
-1
37 mins
English term (edited): so too did the tendency for the expansive tendency

tendency for expansion (I assume this is the meaning)

we in the U.S. vote for non-redundancy and clarity
Note from asker:
yes, I imagine that's what the author wants to say. For me, it would sound better like this: "As Athenian trading interests expanded, so too did Athenian democracy [its tendency] to include non-natives and it became increasingly common for successful resident foreigners in Athens to be granted citizenship."
Peer comment(s):
disagree Richard Benham : The two occurrences of "tendency" do not refer to the same thing. If you slot your suggestion into the original sentence, the result is nonsense.
2 mins
it will be interesting to hear the opinions of others
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