Glossary entry

French term or phrase:

joue avec l'ombre

English translation:

Dappled sunlight filters through the leaves of the plane trees

Added to glossary by French2English
Sep 25, 2007 13:31
16 yrs ago
French term

joue avec l'ombre

French to English Art/Literary Poetry & Literature poetic description
Le soleil joue avec l’ombre des platanes et vient se mirer dans le lac immense et peuplé d'oiseaux migrateurs.

This is actually taken from a marketing brochure for a new development in a pretty part of France. I want to make the English sound as poetic as the French (always hard!), but after several days of translating technical and legal docs, what poetic skills I have are severely diminished!

Here's my effort (see below) and I invite my fellow Prozians to improve upon it if they have the time!
(People always seem to love this type of 'question' !)
By the way, I don't think my effort is particularly good!

Sunlight, dappled by the plane trees, is mirrored in the vast lake, home to migratory birds.

Discussion

B D Finch Sep 25, 2007:
... and plays on the water of the vast lake where migratory birds [could the idea of migrant birds offend potential buyers of a dubious political persuasion?] find their summer/winter home.
French2English (asker) Sep 25, 2007:
Salloz, ....that 's all very well for the sake of exoticism, but really!! You get the 'banana' prize for this one!
French2English (asker) Sep 25, 2007:
CMJ, thanks, but I am quite aware of the FR/EN difference in readership... but there is a middle ground - something descriptive, with a touch of poetry in it, not too over-the-top...that sort of thing.
CMJ_Trans (X) Sep 25, 2007:
If I may give you a word of advice: don't get TOO poetical. Think of your readership. The arty-farty stuff works brilliantly at time in French but wold be more likely to make an English reader laugh
Salloz Sep 25, 2007:
It is exactly what I did: turn them into banana trees!
French2English (asker) Sep 25, 2007:
Hi again BD, ...yes, I see your point, your use of 'dapple' does sound better. Although I quite like 'mirrored' - as opposed to 'reflected'... which sounds more scientific....
French2English (asker) Sep 25, 2007:
Is it just me... or is it difficult to make 'plane trees' poetic!? Turn them into banana trees, is one way to make them seem more exotic, I guess... :)
French2English (asker) Sep 25, 2007:
well, actually, I thought putting the whole sentence in would be too much, but I wanted to see what other people came up with for the whole sentence. A sort of poetic tea break, if you like.
writeaway Sep 25, 2007:
the entire sentence is too much for 1 question-you are only asking 'joue avec l'ombre', aren't you ?

Proposed translations

+7
25 mins
Selected

Dappled sunlight filters through the leaves of the plane trees

Keeping fairly close to your idea. I think that dappled should be used as an adjective describing the sunlight, rather than having the trees dappling the sunlight. ... and is reflected by the vast lake ...
Peer comment(s):

agree helene_d (X)
13 mins
Thanks helene
agree Jim Tucker (X) : very nice, literalism would strangle it
23 mins
Thanks Jim
agree Katarina Peters
25 mins
Thanks Katrina
agree Assimina Vavoula
33 mins
Thanks Assimina
agree Ingeborg Gowans (X) : sounds more poetic and reads well
6 hrs
Thanks Ingeborg
agree Carol Gullidge : I like dappled sunlight
2 days 22 hrs
Thanks Carol
agree Brigitte Albert (X)
4 days
Thanks Brigitte
Something went wrong...
4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer. Comment: "Going slightly against the consensus on this one. In the end, in fact, I used a mixture of several suggestions (thanks to everyone) but I did include the term 'dappled' as I felt that was precisely the image the writer was attempting to conjure up."
+9
13 mins

where the sun plays hide-and-seek with the shadow of the plane trees

just a dumb idea

or plays games with
Peer comment(s):

agree Jenny Duthie : I like this!
6 mins
agree writeaway : yes, stick to the French but make it English
9 mins
agree Katarina Peters : hide-and-seek was my first thought
9 mins
neutral Claire Chapman : Poetry can inspire different images in each person. Nevertheless, the phrase does not specify a particular game.
18 mins
see my alternative
agree Salloz
29 mins
agree Assimina Vavoula
44 mins
agree Cervin : very pretty
2 hrs
agree jean-jacques alexandre : mighty good !!!
7 hrs
agree Gacela20
18 hrs
agree Gina W
4 days
Something went wrong...
+2
21 mins

...plays with the shadows...

The sun dances with the shadows of the plane trees and marvels at its reflection in the vast lake where migratory birds nest...
Peer comment(s):

agree Claire Chapman
5 mins
Thanks, Claire
neutral writeaway : where do you see marvels and are the birds migrating, nesting or resting?
11 mins
where's your poetic sense, writeway? The sun marvels (present tense of the verb to marvel) peuplé d'oiseaux - the birds are obviously nesting, resting or just plain populating the lake...
agree Salloz : I like your solution too. Where are the birds resting? At the lake, of course!
16 mins
Thanks, Salloz, nesting in the lake would be a "nasty" trick on the birds...I really meant around the lake, but I was ahead of myself...
Something went wrong...
+1
35 mins

plays with shadows nfg

Katarina must have put in the phrase while I was gathering examples. In support of her answer, I'm going to post what I found. There are plenty more examples available.

A haunting thriller set in a London at times beautiful and ugly, but always captivating. An edgy psychological drama that plays with the shadows and light of an underworld occupied by the fascinating and terrible.
http://www.mr-in-between.com/cast.html

[caption for photograph]
The sun plays with the shadows in the afternoon at Dunc Gray Velodrome, Sydney.
http://www.pbase.com/gunterphotograph/image/37252760

The painting Port of Ostia During a Tempest was made through the technique of oil on canvas. It describes a storm from a port. It is a colorful painting, but at the same time, it plays with the contrast of light and dark. In most parts of the painting, the colors go to a darker tone; however, there is a light streaming from the left side of the painting that illuminates part of it. It **plays with the shadows** in the opposite way.
http://www.as.miami.edu/english/wiki/index.php?title=Shely_B...

[caption for photograph]
The game [that] the light plays with the shadows.
Continuously. Forever. Until it’s done.
My shadow is behind me now. I think it wants to move.
Where’s your shadow?
http://www.inspirelight.net/?p=981


--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 1 hr (2007-09-25 14:42:42 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

I meant to post "plays with the shadows" in the answer box.

Below are the exactly two references that I found on Internet for "plays hide and seek with the shadows." Yahoo! has 84 hits for "plays with the shadows." Before anyone complains about my using numbers to determine an aesthetique, let me state that I'm not. My concern is about inserting something into the translation that isn't in the original. The original did not specify a game so, IMO, the translation should not specify a game. I'm using the numbers to support my personal preference. The numbers for the phrase "plays with the shadows" show that is more commonly used than "plays hide and side with the shadows." In addition, it does not appear to be overused to the point of triteness.

extract from 'Morning Duties' by D Harrison
Tickles river's ambling currents,
blinks at its own reflection,
plays hide and seek with the shadows.
http://www.naturewriting.com/poemsbyd.htm

Sabbat – History of time to come
Lyrics for ‘Harned Is the Hunter’
Both wicked and lustful
This god's horny might,
He plays hide and seek
With the shadows of the night,
http://www.speed-n-power.com/disk.php?did=7699


--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 1 hr (2007-09-25 14:46:13 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Lyrics for 'Harmed is the Hunter'
Peer comment(s):

neutral writeaway : plays with shadows is ok-but when it plays hide and seek, that gives the dappled effect, doesn't it?
6 mins
But it isn't necessary to state it. Did you look at the photographs?
agree Katarina Peters : Great examples, Claire! Which makes me think that poetic allegories can only be understood by those who have a feel for poetry...and those who don't, stay away!
13 mins
Thank you, Katarina :-)
neutral B D Finch : I find some of your examples more apt than others. Though I prefer not to personalise the sun, poetic preferences are so personal. Does it fit into the estate marketing context? It is mch better than estate agentese.
4 days
My intent was to show that the phrase was just as understandable in Eng. as it was in Fr. IMO, translators should translate not rewrite to what they wish the text said when there is nothing wrong with the original. Thanks for writing :-)
Something went wrong...
13 mins

sunlight frolics with the plantain trees' shade and comes to...

sunlight frolics with the plantain trees' shades and comes to watch itself in the mirror of the vast lake... and so on.

If you don't like frolic, you may say dance.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 15 mins (2007-09-25 13:47:30 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

...ON the vast lake, taming with migratory birds.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 1 hr (2007-09-25 15:11:19 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Forget the plantains, but I still like the frolics.

The mad wind frolics with the billows,
Now smooths them low, now lashes high...
[The Poems of Emma Lazarus, Vol.II, Jewish Poems]

When all else is quiet, the ocean is alive. It tumbles through the stillness of the air and frolics with the minnows, dancing atop its endless waves... [-- Maria Blesie, 10
New York]

When the foliage frolics with waves of love
the trees whisper tales of destiny...
[A Poem Dedicated to Hawaii -- author unknown (to me)]
Peer comment(s):

disagree B D Finch : A plantain is a type of banana! How exactly can sunlight "frolic"?
6 mins
Platane = plantain tree. Jouer = to play. Are you going to ask Katarina how exactly can sunlight "play"? Or to CMJ, how exactly can sunlight "play hide-and-seek"?
disagree helene_d (X) : A plantain is the same in French. A "platane" is a plane tree, very typical to France.
24 mins
Well, I stand corrected on that one. Thanks.
agree Katarina Peters : frolics is fine with me...
40 mins
Thanks, Katarina!
agree jean-jacques alexandre : platane : plane tree
1 hr
Merci beaucoup!
Something went wrong...
Term search
  • All of ProZ.com
  • Term search
  • Jobs
  • Forums
  • Multiple search